el bosque

Buenos tardes. Antihistamines bought for the hundreds of horsefly and  mosquito bites that are burning my joints. Showered. Got clothes to the laundry. Met cool people. Had cute emails. Annoyed by the deadly slow internet. Yet happy.

Imagine.

-You are told you need to hike 9 kilometres in a burning sun to get to the boat which is supposed to take you to the forest. You haven`t had breakfast. This is all thanks to motortaxi strike.

-You find out you are supposed to be 4 days alone with a guy who is literally the sleaziest guy on earth.

-There is no electricity at the lodges because it has broken down 3 days before.

-There is one dirty towel in your bathroom and no soap

-The biggest expectation you had for the trip was to meet a shaman, and you looked from 3 different villages and no one was available

-You are left in the jungle by yourself at times since you didn`t notice which path your horny, yet quick guide did take. When you ask him what he will do if a poisonous spider bites you, he says "no problemo, me aydarte". Como??

-Your guide is supposed to know all of the forest, but he obviously speaks even worse english than you speak spanish. All he can say is "a beaaaautiful colors!" and ask about your religion, if you as liberal as he is.

-You don`t get enough food. 

-You are literally eaten alive by the horseflies and mosquitos even though you don`t stop spraying 100 % DEET all over you,
-Daily, you kayak for hours in the sun beecause the company has no but one boat with a motor.

-And you PAID lots of this?! 

Imagine.

+The first guide who take you to the boat was the cutest and most intellligent ever, and you got the most special breakfast at the jungle. Ice cream tree-fruits and a meal at the local`s house because you gave the mother of the family some painkillers and Voltaren.

+Amazingly magical and beautiful nature. 

+Healthy food, often prepared by your sleazy guide. Freshly caught piranhas and spagetti in the middle of Amazon. 

+Since your horny guide was sorry for the way he didn`t stop begging for sex while you were supposed to sleep with him under the same mosquito net in the middle of the Amazon ("is it possible? me in the jungle for 10 days without a woman? please? Si? No? is it possible? si?), he offered to find you a shaman no matter what.

+You didn`t find a shaman but you found good time with the local people at a very nice village and felt very welcomed and pampered.
+You got your arm muscles better because of all that kayaking.

+You got to teach your "english speaking guide" English for 3 hours in your boat way back to Nauta.

+Your Spanish got way better because you were literally forced to use it.
+You learned from the Peruvian culture so much more when you were sitting on a beach with your guide, talking about relationships.

We are amigos now, I bought him a beer and we shared a huge cup of ice cream, soon going to the cine since it`s only 4 soles por las Jueves. 

I hope I soon can write a bit more precise blog, when I get a connection which doesn`t break in every 5 minutes. :)